Recently, my partner and I have become very disconnected from Sex and Intimacy. He says, `its because I’m depressed and deflated, worn out to the core. How do you expect me to have meaningful sexual/intimate relations when I can’t even feel at the moment.´
Today in a world where everything is unknown from one day to the next, whether personal or professional, Depression and Stress are on the rise…and sex and the brain are at the forefront of why this suffering , the loss of that lovin’ feelin’ occurs. According to Michael Dansinger, MD, “Sexual desire starts out in the brain and works its way downwards because of chemicals known as Neurotransmitters(1). They increase communication between cells and trigger the bloodflow to one’s sex. The problem is that the communication between the chemicals do not function at their full capacity.”
Ways we can deal with Depression as a couple
*Most important advice I could ever give on this topic is that you should never say that he/she does not have depression. It is real and even though there are different levels of depression, we must show empathy when dealing with our loved one.
- Take a walk outside together. Take in the fresh air and get back your body awareness back.
- Eat healthily-sometimes I find it hard as when one is stressed/depressed we often go into comfort food mode(our hormones are taking full advantage, leading to an unawareness of what we are doing). Perhaps put some fruit/veg(cut into snack size bites) in a bowl as to support partner with this.
- Try to get enough sleep, roughly about 8 hrs, if not perhaps a power nap in the afternoon should help.
- And try to create an atmosphere conducive for some intimacy, such as cuddling, to keep love and intimacy alive.
*Another important note on the partner of the suffering person is that they should always remember to stay connected to themselves. Stay aware that he or she is well as dealing with this feeling/disorder can sometimes take a toll.
We must never judge our partner and always accept the feelings that they have manifested. And one day we will get that lovin feelin back with the loving support and respect for each other.
1. Michael Dansinger, MD, Sexual Problems and Depression, WebMD, 10/15/2016