For many years, most men have avoided the dreaded topic of the PERIOD/Menstruation. From Patriarchal society to Religions and everything in between, enough is enough!! I like to think we are moving into a higher state of awareness as a global society and now is the time to wake up, evolve and take part of what it means to be a man today. Open, loving, understanding and accepting of the feminine woman in this stage of life. A shift in time from when the older generation expected the woman to take care of her monthly duties, like it was a chore. Most men today have no clue and no upbringing on the topic of how to jive with the feminine and that time of the month. Not to fear, time is a changin…
When a woman bleeds, she is in a state of renewal, shedding physical and emotional imprints from the past that were laid upon her, now no longer needed. A chance to start a fresh with life, sex, and intimacy with herself and her lover. And of course, its a time to celebrate the ability to create and hold life in the womb. Now is the time to become aware of the actions one takes, either to become unaware of whats going, avoid, get angry/annoyed or to take the higher road, and take time to understand whats going on. To see the beauty in all her blood and glory. Now, in my own life, I have had a very contradictory, bumpy road when dealing with my period . Over the years I detested it, felt that I was and should be on my on with it. Past and present partners looked at me like “Babe, this is your thing” , allways thinking that I smelled or was dirty, and that my womanly time of the month was nothing more than irrational outbursts, cramping and blood. Yet, in my heart I always knew there was something deeper going on. A companion of mine, Shakti Sundari, coach of love and sacred sexuality and mother of 2, recently shared her take on raising a son on the topic. She states that, “its simple, nothing is hidden. I am myself. He has seen my sanitary products and moon cup. He’s seen my blood collected in cups and put on altar.” If we start teaching, or rather guiding from a young age, then perhaps men will have an understanding of the importance and gratitude given during this meaningful time and not distance themselves from this special(sacred for the progs) time in a womans life.
Here are some tips to help from a man’s and woman’s point of view:
- No joking while she’s experiencing discomfort: It’s ok to make her laugh, laughter is good medicine BUT do not joke about it being “that time of the month again”.
- Know her cycle: By knowing her cycle, you can be more aware and sensitive to her changing moods and physical discomfort. This develops a deeper trust as your woman knows you are really present with what she is experiencing.
- Her changing libido: When premenstrual, her hormone level shifts. This hormonal flip can mean “she isn’t horny for you!” Interestingly, having an orgasm can relieve menstrual cramps, though your attitude during the whole cycle will determine whether or not she’s willing to explore this.
- Don’t run away from her emotions;
- Don’t try to fix her; The first thing I do is get my Fiancee a hot water bottle. She LOVES this. other great ideas include; complimenting her, being kind, helping out with chores (this should always be the case, but usually isn’t). Help create a cozy environment for her, and cook her comfort food. The main thing is to not be an ass.
*Bonus tip for the super progressive guy: Her monthly bleeding cycle is a sacred flow exhibiting the power of women in their ability to birth a being from within. Shower her with respect for the intensity of what she undergoes every month. To view a woman’s period as a time of renewal and great creativity is an honoring. (Zat Baraka, Good Men Project)
- Engage in effective communcation-listening, instead of blaming
- Have a plan on how you can deal with PMS-remember its important to take care of yourself during this time to. Perhaps do some meditation, exercise, boys night out to balance emotions, and healthy eating
- Share in intimacy/love-making if/when appropriate. Sex can actually help cramping and is a great way to engage in loving, slow connection. This is not the time to run off, but a time to honour the timeless beauty of the feminine and what capabilities generate within her
Women: It is important for all women to understand themselves and what they need during this time, not always the man. Be present and aware of how much beauty is held within at this time. Through renewal and awareness, we can guide men to a better understanding of the feminine, creating better relationships, thus effecting the world as we know it.
Zat Baraka, 5 Manly Ways to Support a Woman’s Period, The Good Men Project, 07/29/14